The following list of behaviors is the best list of the emotionally manipulative tactics used by a narcissistic partner. As you read through each one, remember that the narcissist is a masterful manipulator because subtlety is his forte and his best victims are kind, caring women who rarely question the behavior of others because they are foreign to it, someone emotional to manipulate.
13 Behaviors You Can Expect In A Narcissistic Partner:
1. The narcissist demands that you tolerate and meet all of their needs and always be available when it works for them. Of course, he never has to be available to you. Those who dare to even question their unavailability or show a “negative” feeling about their behavior are quickly punished with narcissistic punishments such as silence or a cold shoulder or withholding sex and affection to remind them who is in control.
2. To test the mental limits of your patience, the narcissist will constantly behave in a manipulative manner. A narcissist’s partner that something is wrong and obsessed with finding answers to the strange experience of being in a relationship with the narcissist. And for the most part, you will be looking for answers to your questions.
3. The narcissist is talented at making you question your own mind and instincts.
4th Most narcissists will cheat … a lot. And if you are caught cheating, their behavior will turn against you by dismissing your feelings, telling you that you are making a big deal of nothing, or even accusing you of being the one who cheated. They make you question your own mind once again.
5. Knowing that they are emotionally unable to provide support, sympathy, or empathy with a partner, a narcissist will use their indifference to your life to keep you unbalanced and confused about their intentions. For example, the narcissist seems unable to make plans with you and keep them. If you question this, he will pretend he has no idea what you are talking about. The truth, of course, is that it’s about making plans to please another person, and therefore they don’t want any of it.
6th The narcissist is always late or, if not too late, is not sure when he will be there or come up with concrete plans. He lets you guess. For example, my ex forgot to tell me about work events we were expected to attend. He said casually, “Oh yes, we have a formal dinner tomorrow night. Pooh!!
7th That meant I found a dress to wear and a babysitter with 24 hours notice. I apologized because I thought he was busy and those were little details for him. It was years before I realized he was enjoying panicking me at the last minute.
8th. Over time, a narcissist slowly creates your expectations of the relationship by using the minimum of effort necessary to keep their share of the relationship going. The narcissist’s main motto is “just enough, just in time” to keep you going and persevere. You get so used to getting so little that you actually start to believe that you no longer deserve!
7th The narcissist is very good at mimicking “normal” emotions. When needed, they can appear genuinely sincere and engaged in the relationship. This is one of the things that you get stuck with … those looks at a normal man with normal feelings.
9. But it’s all an act to get the results he wants. He can play the good guys and make you jump through the hoops because you are so happy with his obvious care and concern. It doesn’t take long for him to pull the web away from you and return to the real narcissist that he is.
10. The narcissist believes that he only needs to show up in one relationship. His mere presence in his mind means that you should be loyal, loving, kind, and caring to him. And you get so addicted to him that if he just shows up, you keep rewarding him with loyalty, love, care, and kindness.
11. Narcissists have no problem performing normal human duties in other areas of their lives and with strangers. Hence, the narcissist seems to get along with everyone but you. The truth is, he is making the expenses of civil treatment a drain on his mental reserves and, by and large, unnecessary because you are already his safe bet.
12th Narcissists will never accept guilt for something that happens in a relationship. They will always blame you, their employers, their parents or siblings, work colleagues, ex-boyfriends, etc. The narcissist is ALWAYS the victim of someone else’s bad behavior!
13th A narcissist expects in a very passive-aggressive way to always be the center of attention and to have his partner’s every wish granted. And you feel obliged to jump through any hoop it takes to please him, even if it makes your life difficult or you feel exploited and abused. In the back of your mind, you always feel threatened in strange and often inexplicable ways.
Are you triggering any of the narcissistic behaviors mentioned above? I remember doing some research shortly after my divorce and was stunned by how little my ex really cared about his family. I was trying to understand how a man who had seemed so devoted could walk away from his own children. What I finally understood is that he can do this because he had very little emotional engagement to begin with.
Living with a narcissistic partner is not easy, divorce can be even more difficult. The trick is to accept who you are and keep your expectations low. This means fewer questions, less stress, and less emotional pain, especially if you do decide to get a divorce.
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