20 things not to do during divorce
1. Live, eat and not breathe your divorce. Distract yourself with real life!
2. Divorce is about gaining your freedom and not sulking about the “would, could, should” aspects of the death of your marriage.
3. Your ex has feelings too. Something important to note. Divorce is not easy for anyone!
4th Divorce is about rebuilding a new life for yourself, not about bringing down your ex.
5. Don’t waste your money. The more problems you have in court, the less money you will have when all is said and done.
6th Don’t waste your life accumulating unnecessary stress. You can’t control what he says or does, but you can control how you react. Practice and let it “roll off your back” perfectly.
7th Bad shit happens in bad relationships. Do not take evil with you as you move forward. Leave the luggage at the gate!
8th. Every story has two sides, your side and his side. When you tell your side, remember … people will hear both sides. Make an effort to sound sensible and rational when you tell your side about it.
9. Do not allow your marriage to define your divorce. Just because you had a bad marriage doesn’t mean you have to get a bad divorce. Staying flexible and willing to compromise means cutting the cord with less pain.
10. Don’t let your divorce determine your future. Getting divorced from a wack job that is trying to break the divorce process doesn’t mean you can’t “shake it off” and leave it behind.
11. Do not calm yourself down while shopping. Seriously! New shoes can temporarily distract you from the emotional pain, but long-term healing is what you need. First find a good therapist, later new shoes!
12. Don’t stop moving forward! Keep yourself busy and focus on goals for your future. You can’t turn a negative into a positive while sitting idle. Get up, get out, and get to work.
13. Don’t make decisions based on how you are feeling emotionally. What you do today will affect tomorrow. So make every effort to use common sense.
14th Don’t be hard on yourself It takes two to get married and two to break a marriage. Own your share in the downfall of the marriage, forgive yourself, and do better next time.
fifteen. Don’t take anything someone says personally. Emotions are charged and legal issues are ugly. Friends, family, lawyers and judges; They will all say things that you don’t want to hear. This is divorce, put on your big girls panties and take care of it.
16. Don’t try to be friends with your ex. This may happen in time, but divorce is not the best foundation for building a friendship. Allow time and healing to pass before you try to define a new and more civic relationship.
17th Don’t turn around and play a lovely pooch. Use all of your resources to keep drama out of your divorce. If you pull out all the stops and he still wants to be an asshole, you have my permission to crush his nuts in court. Never give up your power to someone voluntarily!
18th Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Have numbers for friends and family that you can call in the middle of the day or in the middle of the night when you are feeling fragile. Never sit alone with your pain if you don’t feel like being alone.
19th Do not indulge yourself in guilt or use guilt to assert yourself. You’re a big girl, you know when someone pushes your buttons to make you surrender. And don’t press his buttons either. Everyone is better off playing fair during the divorce.
20th Don’t ignore your children’s pain. Always put your children’s needs first. Don’t use them to return to him. Don’t use them to make him pay for hurting you. Don’t use your kids! Love your children and allow your ex to do the same.
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