Most experts believe that people who are newly divorced are likely not ready to jump headlong into a romantic relationship. The chance of a rebound relationship with long-term potential is slim. To be honest, there are many reasons why it rarely ends well.
However, there are certain situations when entering into a rebound relationship after a divorce can work out. Shortly after my divorce, I was embroiled in a relaxing relationship that helped me overcome my anger at my ex and get on with my life.
As a newly divorced woman with two school-age children, I entered into a relationship with someone who offered comfort, camaraderie, intimacy, and social stimulation. Since neither of us was sufficiently healed of our recent divorces, the relationship ended after six months. Although we weren’t ready for a commitment, we enjoyed the passion and fun of dating. It was a good opportunity for me to meet someone who is very different from my ex-spouse.
In my case, this relationship was a reminder that I was desirable and able to have passionate feelings that had lingered for many years. What I learned was that it was okay to let go of my past and give me the pleasure and joy of new love.
On the other hand, while most rebound relationships can’t do permanent harm, they can postpone the recovery process and not give a person time to think about their contribution to the divorce. In fact, dealing with emotional pain can be an easy way – an essential part of healing. Escaping through a restful relationship can prevent you from realizing the reasons why your marriage ended and the lessons you must learn from it.
Consequently, embarking on a rebound relationship is a risky endeavor. When you feel lonely after the divorce, it is easy to fall in love with someone before you are really ready to start dating again. Hence, it makes sense to examine the reasons why rebound relationships should be avoided. However, rebound relationships can serve purpose and be healthy when both parties enter the partnership with clear boundaries and are on the same side.
Some people would argue that a relaxing relationship is a great way to give the newly divorced person a boost in endorphins (to improve their mood) and increase their self-esteem. In addition, a new relationship can help someone deal with a variety of emotions, including confusion, fear, anger, regret, betrayal, and sadness.
6 reasons a rebound relationship might be right for you:
1. It can help you ease the transition from married to single life.
But it’s only true if both parties enter the relationship with realistic expectations – knowing the other person’s boundaries and intent.
2. It can give you an opportunity to find out what kind of partner is complimenting you.
It is impossible to do this when you are flying alone. Most people learn from experience rather than just reading about relationship dynamics. You can also find out what you don’t want.
3. It can offer camaraderie.
Newly separated and divorced people usually feel quite lonely, so you probably aren’t ready to start a long-term relationship – an affair can be just what you need to recover from.
4. If you plan to remarry, you should test a new relationship to see if you are ready.
Many people choose a partner who has similar traits to their ex. As a result, you may have to meet several people before finding someone who is a good fit for you.
5. It can give you a confidence boost and help you recover from making you feel more desirable.
A breakup can temporarily damage your self-esteem. It is important that you build your confidence before entering into a committed relationship again.
6. Sometimes a rebound relationship works!
In certain cases, especially if you are over 30 and know what you want, a rebound relationship can be fertile ground for a successful long-term relationship.
Overall, most experts advise against relationship recovery as newly divorced individuals need time to recover from their divorce and the “ghosts of the relationship” that need treatment. Simply put, we need to put these ghosts and past memories in their proper place so that we are fully available for a new relationship. However, in certain instances when people step into them with realistic expectations, they can help facilitate healing and increase a person’s self-confidence.
Meeting several different people casually can help you figure out what type of partner you need to be successful. Trying out new relationships can be less risky if both partners are honest with each other about their goals and don’t see the partnership as long-term. When you rebound in a relationship with your eyes open, you have a better chance of recovering faster if it ends badly. You are also less likely to repeat dating disasters. Stepping into the dating world cautiously after divorce will serve you well in the long run!
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More from Terry
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