There is no more important relationship for a child than that with its parents. A good parent-child bond is a strong foundation on which your child can better explore and understand the world around them, as well as explore and understand themselves. Like any other relationship, it takes work to build.
Whether you’re a single parent, living with the other parent, separated or divorced, here are six great ways to strengthen your relationship with your child.
This is how you strengthen your relationship with your child
1. Play together
Play is an incredibly important part of your child’s development at any age. As a parent, it’s easy to get bogged down with providing your child’s basic needs, but one of the best ways to foster better bonding is to step up to their level to enjoy a fun, playful time together.
Younger children may want to build a tall tower out of blocks, while your teen might be drawn to a visit an escape room. Find out what interests your child and suggest activities or excursions that will allow you to give your child your undivided attention and do something they love.
2. Take the time to listen
Sometimes you just have to be there. Your child has a lot to do in their world. Ask open-ended questions about friends, school, hobbies, or extracurricular activities to encourage a flow of conversation that goes beyond simple yes or no answers. Listen to their thoughts and feelings with empathy so that the conversation focuses on your child and their experiences rather than your ideas or advice.
3. Find their love language
Long thought to improve the relationship between couples, it is helpful to recognize and understand the ways your child gives and receives love in order to improve the relationship with your child. What makes one child feel loved and valued may not work for another.
Your child can feel loved when they receive:
- Words of endorsement, including compliments, praise, quotes, written notes, and texts that acknowledge everything they do well.
- Quality time, including active listening, pre-planned activities, and time spent together with meaningful attention and persistence.
- Gifts like picking up their favorite snack from the store, flowers in a favorite color, something he or she has had in mind for a while, or anything that shows that you know and see your child.
- Support services, including helping with household chores or homework, getting involved in their projects and hobbies, and doing something thoughtful, such as B. preparing your favorite food.
- Physical touch, such as hugs, pats on the back, kisses, and time spent in close physical proximity, such as cuddling or scratching the back while watching a movie.
4. Have limits
Structure creates security for children, and the more secure your child feels, the easier it is for you to relax and let go in your presence. It may seem counter-intuitive, but clear and consistent boundaries in your home and in your relationship will help your child know what to expect and when.
Boundaries allow your child to understand what is acceptable and what is not, where their household responsibilities are, and avoid conflict and unpredictability. Children who know what is expected of them experience less stress and more harmony.
5. Eliminate distractions
One of the main causes of perceived distance in relationships is not the quantity of time spent together, but the quality. If you frequently answer emails on your phone or scroll through social media in the presence of your child, it will be difficult to feel connected and close to you even though you are in the same room.
Some parents find it helpful to set screen-free rooms or times. For some, their child’s bedroom is a no-screen zone, while for others it may be more helpful to turn off their devices two hours after school. During this time, stay present and get involved with your child. Your child knows you have a busy life. When your child feels like you are a priority, they will feel important, loved, and valued.
6. Create routines
Consistency invites security, an incredibly important part of a healthy connection. If you have more than one child, plan some time with each of them. Children benefit greatly from having their own special connection with a parent. Whether a regular “Date Night” with your child, a joint project or a Single trip to the parkParent-child rituals create memories for life and show your child that you value who they are on an individual level.
It won’t always be easy to strengthen and maintain your relationship with your child after the divorce, but staying consistent and committed is important. Children don’t need perfect parents, they just need parents who love them and the way you show them that love can provide them with lifelong increased self-esteem, positive appreciation, and personal success, both in and outside of your relationship .
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