Once you’ve found this article, you will know what a narcissist is and the harm it can do in relationships. You may be wondering whether or not you are dealing with narcissistic abuse, or if so, how to heal and move your life forward.
Narcissistic abuse can be defined as any type of behavior that another person is designed to control. This is done through tactics to humiliate one’s own reality, to cause fear and doubt. Narcissistic abuse can be as overt as screaming, yelling and criticizing or, as covertly as gas light, withholding needs and denying what has been said and what has not been said.
4 signs you are a victim of narcissistic abuse:
1. You doubt yourself:
“Maybe he’s right, maybe I said I was going to the party and just don’t remember.” You started to believe that maybe you are the problem, the one who needs to change, the one whose reality is skewed.
2. You feel confused about where you are in your relationship:
Eighty percent of the time, you will have a partner who seems to really love you and look after you. It’s the other 20% that keep you in a state of confusion. Your partner withholds sex and affection; You complain about the way you dress or your need to lose weight.
When you say how hurtful your partner has been, you are told that you are too sensitive or that you misunderstood their words and actions. One moment you feel valued, the next you feel diminished.
3. You feel like you are going crazy:
You feel tired, alone, helpless, angry, and worthless. You feel like you are going crazy, but you cannot pinpoint why. “There must be something wrong with me!”
You have physical symptoms that you cannot explain:
Your neck, shoulders, and back hurt. You will suddenly be diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome. You find it difficult to get out of bed in the morning because your energy is depleted. Your toxic relationship has affected your physical well-being!
Recovery tips if you are a victim of narcissistic abuse:
1. Surround yourself with a strong support network:
It’s time to stop doubting your own reality and open up to others about what you’ve done in your relationship. You need a good therapist who has worked with victims of emotional abuse. You need friends and family to encourage you to break free of your abuser and work to recover from the damage your partner did.
2. Talk about your feelings:
The mistake most victims make is talking about what has been done to them. To recover, you need to express how you are feeling in order to learn how to deal with the negative emotions you are experiencing. Talking about how you are feeling with a therapist, friends, and family will give you perspective. You also gain confidence in yourself when your feelings are confirmed by those who are closest to you.
3. Allow yourself to be angry:
Be angry, but do this constructively. If you fail to process the anger you feel when you are used and manipulated, you will be stuck in your sadness and despair. When anger is suppressed, you can begin to experience physical exhaustion, depression, and indifference to your own emotional health.
If you don’t talk about and work with your feelings, you can avoid and isolate yourself from friends, family, and possibly new relationships. So get mad, get it out and carry on!
4. Learn to calm yourself down:
I have a friend who suffered so badly from her narcissistic husband that she had panic attacks by the time the marriage was over. The slightest amount of stress would trigger adrenaline rushes and it would be difficult for her to catch her breath. When you’re experiencing the same thing, being able to calm down during difficult times is an important skill.
Taking a warm bath, doing deep breathing exercises, distracting yourself with a positive thought or activity – all of these are self-calming techniques that can be used to calm your nerves when they run out.
5. Have no contact with the narcissist:
You may have let go of the narcissist, that doesn’t mean he let go of you. Until the narcissist moves on to another source of supply, you are their target. Do everything in your power not to reply to or defend yourself via email, text, or phone.
Narcissists don’t give up easily, so it becomes difficult. They have a way of inducing their victims’ need to defend themselves against allegations. And worst of all, they appear sincerely repentant for the pain they have caused.
The narcissist’s main goal is to keep you occupied. Whether it’s positive or negative doesn’t matter to the narcissist as long as you keep getting involved. Don’t give the narcissist what he / she wants, don’t get in touch with the narcissist!
6. Work on rebuilding your self-esteem and confidence:
The narcissist’s goal is to strip you of every ounce of self-worth and confidence, and make you feel like damaged goods. To feel good, you have to feel bad.
They cannot be considered damaged. You have to believe that you are damaged. You can be the best spouse; Most attractive person the narcissist has ever dealt with. You can be a lot smarter than the narcissist. They will work hard to tear you away from your appreciation and trust.
The first step in getting it back is to understand that the doubts and fears they instilled in you were lies. None of that was about you, it was about her lack of confidence, her fear, and her hurt, inflated ego.
Stop getting involved in what the narcissist has been so desperate to sell to you about you. Lies lies lies!
7. Don’t research narcissists!
It’s human nature to want to understand who they are, what makes them tick, and whether they can be fixed. Every hour you spend learning about them is an hour that is holding you from recovering from their abuse. Focus on your recovery and research techniques used to heal from narcissistic or emotional abuse. Self-care after many months and years of abuse is where your focus should be!
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