Divorce doesn’t just affect you and your ex-spouse. It can also have a profound effect on your children. After a divorce, one parent usually moves out of the house and a uniform upbringing plan is drawn up. This ensures that the children spend as much time as possible with each parent.
Ideally, both parents do not live far from each other, but this is not always the case. Sometimes physical distance and scheduling conflicts make it almost impossible for parents to spend time with their children on an equal footing.
Studies have shown that Children are better off when they have both parents in their lives. Communicating well with parents and knowing how to put your children first have several benefits. So what can you do to promote and promote a strong relationship between your children and your co-parentseven if distance is necessary?
Tips for effective communication between parents
Stick to a schedule
Children live on routines. It gives them a feeling of security and security and teaches them to trust. If you are the parent your child primarily lives with, keep your co-parents informed by letting them know your child’s schedule. The schedule should include activities that your child is involved in and times that they can communicate with their other parent. This way, your parents can stay in constant communication with your children, even when they are not physically present. It creates a friendlier environment between the two of you and put your children first.
By creating a schedule and keeping your co-parent informed, no one will be left in the dark. Your children will feel more secure, your co-parents will know what is going on, and their conversations will be able to focus more on quality.
Take advantage of the technology
Today more than ever, people are taking advantage of technology to stay connected. If the pandemic taught us anything, it is that without certain technologies we would feel much more isolated!
Thanks to advances in technology, it is relatively easy to stay connected and communicate with people on a regular basis. It is not a “substitute” for personal quality time, but technology enables your children to connect with their other parents when they are physically unable to. If your children have their own phones or tablets, establish a strong, communicative relationship with their parents. You can do this by:
- Create a Skype or Zoom account for them
- Encouraging FaceTiming
- Upload their school projects and homework to the cloud for both parents to see
- Make a schedule for your co-parents to “play games” with your children online
- Allow your co-parents to video chat a story to their children one night a week
You can also involve your co-parent in important milestones, even if they cannot be there in person. If your child have a birthday party, video video your co-parents by planning a little in advance.
If you only have one central computer in your home, you can still encourage regular video chat communication. Just make sure your kids understand how to stay safe online and develop healthy computing habits. Having a graph and timer to monitor their usage is a great way to ensure that you are using your computer responsibly.
Create a unique parenting arrangement
If you have joint custody of your children, living nearby is often necessary. However, when one parent has “first” custody of the children, things can get more complicated. Precautions must be taken to ensure that your co-parent has sufficient opportunities to be part of their children’s lives.
In most cases, set schedules allow non-custodial parents to spend time with their children on set days. This often depends on the custodial parent’s schedules, schedule, non-custodial parent, and children. But even if there are overlapping appointments, it is possible to ensure that both parents spend the same and balanced time with their children.
For example, if the children attend extracurricular courses after school, the parents can swap who brings, picks up and more. Even small, regular meetings in this manner can be beneficial in maintaining strong relationships.
When such a schedule is not possible, parents should work together to create something that works for everyone involved. For example, if one parent lives several hours away, it is not possible to take their children with you every other weekend. Video chats can help keep connections strong in the meantime, but they are no substitute for spending time together in person. One possible solution is a schedule that allows long-distance travelers to spend large blocks of time with their children. Common options are:
- Several weeks in summer
- A long break in winter
- Spring Break, Spring holidays, Spring Break
- One week of vacation in the middle of the school year
Fostering strong communication with parents who your children don’t see in person often can be difficult. The most important thing in any arrangement is to put your children first. Remember, they need to have a familiar routine and feel safe and secure. Make your unique arrangements with your best interests in mind. It may take a little creativity and a willingness to work with your co-parent. But if you can, you will create a better experience for your children.
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