Whether you finalized your divorce yesterday or have been single for years, finding joy after a divorce seems impossible. How will you ever get happy again? Well, we’re not here to sugar-coat the situation. Divorce is one of the hardest things a person can go through. At the end of the tunnel, however, there is a light, a chance to start over and build a new life for yourself.
So, if you are ready to find joy and smile again after the divorce, there are a few things you can do.
Forgive, but don’t forget
In the weeks and months after your divorce, it’s easy to throw your ex in the trash. Even if their words and actions were the reason for your divorce, keeping things civil, especially if you have children, is important. Finally, if you share custody of the children, you can even come to forgive your ex-husband and learn to work together.
However, you should never forget about all the negative aspects of your marriage. As you start to regret your decision or miss out on your old life, start reminding yourself why you got divorced. This will help you develop mentally and emotionally.
Accept a positive mantra
Of course, it is also important to remember all the good things in your life. After all, you still have your children and a bright future ahead of you – if that’s how you want to see it. Developing a mantra or self-affirmation can help you embrace the good and find a more positive outlook on life.
Write down some statements such as “I am worthy of love” or “I believe in my ability to move on and be successful”. Then repeat it a few times throughout the day. It may take you some time to notice changes, but subtle changes in perspective eventually occur. Over time, this simple practice can lead to happier and more joyful lives.
Time alone is important to process emotions and sift through sentimental objects. However, in the months following your divorce, spending time with others is just as important. When your thoughts and feelings get too much to handle on your own, you need to have someone to confide in.
Find a close friend, family member, or therapist with whom to share your thoughts, feelings, and deepest fears. Often times, life becomes a little less difficult when you just take things off your chest. Also, your listener can give you advice or help you see things from a different perspective. This is helpful when trying to find a touch of joy in a gloomy situation.
Create new traditions
For divorced parents, holidays, birthdays, and other celebrations can be some of the toughest days of the year. Sure, you will likely still see the kids, but without your ex there, things just won’t be the same. Create new traditions that don’t rely on the help of another parent instead of dealing with the missing link in your celebration.
For example, if you and your ex-husband dressed up as Santa and Mrs Claus to play Christmas carols every Christmas, you’re starting a new tradition where you and the kids bake cookies and deliver them to the neighbors. Finding other easy ways to transform annual celebrations will also help your kids get distracted from their dad and regain their sense of joy.
Invest in yourself
Chances are that you put a lot of time and effort into your marriage before you finally decide to divorce. At some point, you may have sacrificed your hobbies, interests, or even health in an attempt to make things work. However, now you have time to reinvest in yourself and rethink old passions.
Perhaps you loved knitting but gave it up to buy time for your children or to learn how to cook for your family. Take a pair of needles and see if your old hobby is fun. Also, pay close attention to your health and fitness. When was the last time you moved and breathed and felt really good inside your skin? Explore your body and get to know its strengths and weaknesses again.
Take your time
Many women choose not to remarry after a divorce, and those who usually settle back after flying solo for around three and a half years. However, there is no timeline and no rush to find love again. Whether or not you want to remarry does not affect how joyful your life can be.
For now, just focus on yourself and take your time. Fall in love with life and its unlimited possibilities. Soak up the sun, let yourself dream, and look for little reasons to smile every day. Happiness will come. You just have to be patient and gentle with yourself.