Divorce is never easy, but most Americans would prefer divorce to an unhappy marriage. This may be a surprising fact to some, however Business Insider indicates the US divorce outlook is changing. It has become common knowledge that people get divorced for a variety of reasons and there are no basic rules as to why.
Perhaps you’ve been married for years and were surprised that your spouse wanted to separate. Maybe you grew apart or there was infidelity. Perhaps you’ve been married recently but realized that you wanted different things. Divorce can be amicable and civil or lengthy and harmful.
Whatever your personal situation, the question most people face after a divorce is, what now?
While you may not immediately know what the next chapter of your life will be, this is the perfect opportunity to start over for yourself and make final decisions about what the rest of your life should be like.
How to create a fresh start after a divorce
Starting over doesn’t mean you have to ignore your past. Rather, it is an opportunity to learn from the past and take those lessons with you on a new adventure.
It can look different for everyone. You may need to move for the first time in a while, alone or with your children. While Moving out of the marriage home It’s not always easy, it’s an exciting way to leave your broken marriage completely behind and have a really clean slate. Your fresh start could be moving down the street, moving to a different location in town, or moving to a completely different area. Whatever you do, think about what’s best for you and your family and you won’t regret moving.
You may also want to take this opportunity to do things you’ve never done before but always wanted to. Are you Worrying about your finances after a costly divorce? Maybe it’s time to think about going back to school or Change career to something with more use. Some of the key benefits to look for are:
- retirement provision
- Health insurance
- Disability insurance
- Life insurance
- Workers compensation
- Paid vacation
As you change your career, you may also feel like you are starting something new and further distancing yourself from who you may have been in your marriage. However, your marriage never has and never will define you.
What makes you … you?
When you are with someone for a long time, people begin to bond the two of you as a unit. You probably even did it yourself. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. This is how it should be during a marriage.
When the relationship ends, you may feel confused, lost, or unsure of your identity. As a result, not only can you feel overwhelmed, but you can get started feel a sense of loneliness. Even if things weren’t great in your marriage, knowing someone is there can make a difference in how you feel.
Fortunately, there are things you can do to fight back against loneliness and embrace life as an individual, including:
- Building a support system
- Choose someone to turn to when times get tough
- Give yourself time to grieve over your loss
To get adapted to life after divorceIt is important to focus on yourself. You may have been part of a “we” for a long time, but it’s time to think in “me” terms. Keep in mind that your personality may have changed over the years. You may not like the things you did before your wedding today, and that’s fine. Use this time to find out who you are today. What inspires you What do you find fascinating? What are your likes and dislikes?
Don’t be afraid to spend time with yourself if you are getting a divorce. This may sound silly at first, but the loneliness you feel is likely coming from within. Instead of filling it up with someone else, fill it up by taking back control of your life and finding out who you are alone.
Starting over doesn’t have to be overwhelming
One of the biggest problems with life after divorce is the wrong perspective. That’s not to say that the divorce process itself isn’t difficult. Even an amicable divorce is a loss, and it’s okay (and important) to mourn that loss.
Instead of focusing on your divorce as the end of something, focus on the fact that this is an opportunity for a fresh start. Don’t feel compelled to plunge into something you’re not ready for. If you get divorced, do the things you want and give yourself time to figure out what the next chapter is like.
You might think about it travel the world to change your perspective and begin the next leg of your journey. Or maybe you spend more time with family and friends. You may even want to spend more time alone rediscovering what’s important in your life. In any case, don’t let the aftermath of a divorce put you off course. Your life might just be starting.