‘It makes me indignant’: My husband’s ex-wife has a $1 million insurance coverage coverage on his life. Can we cancel it?

Dear Quentin,

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. He has 3 children with his ex. One just graduated from high school and the twins will graduate next year. His ex has a $ 1 million life insurance policy that she says will provide child support should something happen to him. One of the twins lives with us full time and we only have $ 9,600 left for maintenance.

Your divorce decree requires him to pay half the policy, and that’s exactly what he did. I’ve never felt comfortable with that. She and her current husband do not have the most responsible or safest lifestyle. It doesn’t work and I honestly don’t trust it. It makes me angry even to think about it. If my husband died in an accident tomorrow, they would get $ 1 million for his death.

“I just don’t want his ex and her husband to get this money because they never kept the kids up.”

Is that legal? We have already asked our lawyer, but have not received a clear answer, as this area is not a specialty. Can we terminate the child support after it has ended? It’s on her behalf, but the policy was still taken out for my husband’s life and he never gave her permission to have it. If all of the children have graduated and there is no financial obligation for them, can she keep it?

We have our own guidelines, and I even told him we could make a will that I could use for college, weddings, etc. I would still do it even if there wasn’t any documentation because I love her and took care of her would like to. I just don’t want his ex and her husband to get this money because they never kept the kids up. They use their money to buy motorcycles and drugs.

I know any life insurance money would add directly to their lifestyle. Her husband recently failed two child protection drug tests and she videotaped admitting to using hard drugs. I don’t want what would be our family’s tragedy to be a payday for them. Please tell me we have legal recourse to cancel it.

Hopeful but fearful

Dear hopefuls,

Two challenges await and you are out of control of one but in complete control of the other.

Let’s start with the first. Find out everything you need to know in your husband’s divorce decree and life insurance contract. I suspect that your husband agreed to this and signed it with the dashed line. If it’s in her name, it’s hers. The contract stipulates that your husband either has to pay 50% of this policy until his children are no longer minors, or not. Such policies are not uncommon for ex-spouses to financially protect themselves against loss of child support and / or child support in the event of the death of their ex-husband or wife.

If your husband has agreed to contribute part of the premium, it is very unlikely that it was withdrawn against his will. He may have said, “I didn’t mean to do it.” But it’s not the same as having his ex-wife take out a policy behind his back and commit fraud. He would also have to undergo a physical exam. What kind of life insurance is it? If the life insurance is limited, it ends after x years and there is no payment. If it is a life-long policy, the policy would also function as a “compulsory savings” vehicle.

It’s not healthy to spend so much time thinking about your husband’s ex-wife.

“Many divorce agreements these days require the conclusion and maintenance of life insurance policies in order to guarantee maintenance and support for children if the main breadwinner dies while maintenance or maintenance is still owed,” says the life insurance company MassMutual. “The period for compulsory life insurance can vary as it depends on the length of maintenance and the age of the children to be supported.”

And now for the challenge that you are in control of. It’s not healthy to spend so much time thinking about your husband’s ex. You and your husband can worry about this arrangement and find ways to get out of it – provided he agreed to it at the divorce – and keep going mad about a possible payoff if he dies before his ex-wife. The whole point of a divorce is to start a new chapter, to break the physical and emotional ties with your ex and, ideally, to lead a happy and peaceful life. Instead, you want to fight a different fight.

If you keep thinking about his ex-wife and this policy, all three of you might as well be locked in an unhappy marriage. And what’s that really about?

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