Muskegon lawyer Jason Kolkema caught allegedly assaulting girlfriend

Two weeks after winning the August primary, judicial candidate Jason Kolkema appeared to viciously whip his girlfriend with a belt during an argument in his downtown Muskegon apartment, presumably unaware that nearby witnesses were recording the scene.

When he noticed the onlookers from his window, the 51-year-old lawyer flashed them the peace sign, and has since claimed the video isn’t what it seems: He was striking a chair with his belt, not his girlfriend, the woman and his lawyer have maintained.

But the video triggered criminal charges — and a tsunami of public outrage.

In a scandalous judicial election that has stirred much debate in western Michigan, the topic of domestic violence has taken center stage as women’s rights activists fight to keep Kolkema off the bench, arguing he isn’t fit to be judge, especially in cases involving battered women and vulnerable children.

‘We saw what we saw’

Kolkema, who was arraigned Sept. 19 on domestic violence charges, has a history of losing his temper, behaving violently around women and children — including spitting on a 12-year-old girl — and has violated court orders, lied about his relationship with his client-girlfriend, battled an Adderall addiction and failed to pay child support, according to a decade’s worth of court and police records reviewed by the Free Press and interviews with multiple people tied to him and his girlfriend.

“I cannot imagine a victim sitting in front of a ‘Jason Kolkema’ and asking him to protect her from an assailant,” said Heather Fry, a Muskegon mother, domestic abuse survivor and longtime victim’s advocate who has sat with scores of victims in court seeking personal protection orders.

“I’m sorry. We saw what we saw. The video is very damning,” Fry said. “It was a violent act meant to instill fear.”

Kolkema has declined numerous requests for comment, though has addressed the video briefly on his Facebook page, stating:

“I understand that the optics are bad. I understand the anger and disappointment, especially from the people who voted for me and supported me … All of the facts will be revealed in due time” Kolkema wrote. He was responding to a Facebook commenter who wrote: “We don’t support abusers in my community.”

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This frame capture from a video shows Jason Kolkema allegedly whipping his girlfriend with a belt during an argument in his downtown Muskegon apartment,

Spitting. Shoving. Slapping.

On his campaign website, Kolkema portays himself as a proud Muskegon native and accomplished lawyer who learned “compassion, empathy and the importance of service to the community” from his homemaker mother.

Court and police records tell a different story.

Two days before the belt incident, Kolkema allegedly spit on his girlfriend’s 12-year-old daughter as she slept in his apartment with her mom, despite a court order that prohibited him from being around the girl. He allegedly spewed toothpaste on the girl and her mother, and then threw water on them because he was angry about a previous fight, according to Ottawa County court records. The next day, he allegedly threw a Gatorade bottle at his girlfriend and her daughter but missed and hit a lamp.

Three months earlier, Fruitport police got a call from Kolkema’s girlfriend saying “my boyfriend just slapped me.” When police arrived, Kolkema told an officer his girlfriend “gets like this when she is drunk … and makes things up.” The girlfriend then recanted and refused to cooperate. No charges were filed.

A billboard for Jason Kolkema sits along Whitehall Road Thursday, Oct. 6, 2022, in North Muskegon.

In 2013, Kolkema’s ex-wife filed a domestic assault complaint with the Fruitport police, alleging that Kolkema shoved her in the back and knocked her to the ground during an argument that occurred while she was picking up her children from his parents’ house. “(She) advised that her daughter was visibly upset and crying, because she had seen Jason act like this in the past,” the police report states. Kolkema was uncooperative, became “defensive” and refused to answer questions without an attorney. No charges were filed due to a lack of witnesses who could “substantiate the alleged assault.”

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A year earlier in Ingham County, Kolkema admitted to pulling his ex-wife’s hair during an argument that got out of hand, but left after she called police. “(He) stated that he left the marital home before police arrived because he represents a lot of agencies which have pro-arrest policy in relation to domestic violence and was not interested in going to jail,” a court filing states. No charges were filed.

That same year, Kolkema triggered a Child Protective Services investigation after he left his ill 6-year-old daughter home alone to drive his older son to a location 20 minutes away. He was “counting on the child being ill and remaining asleep in bed. … However, (the child) was found by a neighbor wandering outside, upset and looking for father.” Kolkema was not charged, though a family court referee said he used “extremely poor” and “highly questionable judgment.”

In 2014, two years following his divorce, Kolkema was held in contempt of court for failure to pay nearly $7,000 in child support owed to his ex-wife. She could not be reached for comment.

Girlfriend supports Kolkema, takes blame

Contacted numerous times for comment, Kolkema’s attorney Terry Nolan threatened to report the Free Press to police for harassment.

Kolkema deferred comment to his girlfriend when asked whether he could explain to voters his actions in the video, stating: “I’d refer you to what the alleged victim had to say.”

The victim says that she’s standing by Kolkema and that she’s partly to blame for what happened in the apartment that day while cellphone cameras were rolling.

This frame capture from a video shows Jason Kolkema pointing before allegedly whipping his girlfriend with a belt during an argument in his downtown Muskegon apartment,

“Jason is a good person (and) has made a positive impact on my life in many regards,” the 33-year-old girlfriend wrote the Free Press. “He’s done a lot for my children and I don’t think this portrayal of him is even remotely fair.” The Free Press does not name domestic violence victims or alleged victims without their consent.

According to the girlfriend, on the day in question, Kolkema was trying to get her attention to finish a conversation they had previously started, but she was on a headset and distracted. So to get her attention, she said, he struck a chair’s armrest with his belt.

“It was rude of me to ignore him so I do take responsibility for that part,” she wrote the Free Press, adding the campaign has “taken on a toll” on their relationship. “We’ve been best friends (for) three years and are very comfortable with each other. I don’t expect every stranger to understand, but would ask to not judge without all facts.”

The woman also said that Kolkema has never hurt her or her daughter, as alleged in a court filing.

“He’s not dangerous. He’s never beat me. He’s not scary or threatening as a person … Just boisterous, animated — almost bouncy at times,” the woman wrote, adding the video is not what it seems. “It’s just not fair to him. … It looks so much worse and different than what it was.”

She also added that she and Kolkema did not start dating until February, though police and court records show the two have been romantically involved for three years. Family members have said their relationship started while Kolkema represented her in a civil, parenting-time case involving her three children from prior relationships — all of which involved domestic violence.

Under the American Bar Association’s  Model Rules of Professional Responsibility, a lawyer “shall not have sexual relations with a client” unless a consensual relationship already existed when the legal representation started. In other words, a lawyer can turn a lover into a client, but not the other way around — as the practice can cost an attorney their license.

For example last year,  the Michigan Attorney Discipline Board upheld a  panel’s decision to disbar a Lincoln Park attorney for — among other things — starting a sexual relationship with a woman he represented in an apartment flood damage case.

‘Papa, I’m hurted’

On New Year’s Day, Kolkema’s girlfriend’s son got a black eye after getting struck by a door handle at his mom’s Grand Haven home, according to an Ottawa County sheriff’s report. That night, the 5-year-old boy called his grandfather.

“He said, ‘Papa, I’m hurted. I got hit in the eye with a doorknob by mommy’s boyfriend,’ ” the grandfather told the Free Press.

When a Child Protective Services investigator questioned Kolkema about the boy’s injury, Kolkema stated that “he had no recollection” of the incident and “didn’t recall” being in the house that day, even though the boy and his girlfriend said he was there. Kolkema also denied being romantically involved with the child’s mother — though six months later, a Mount Pleasant police report involving a domestic dispute at a casino would characterize their relationship as follows: “Jason and (his girlfriend) have been in an intimate dating relationship for three years, and have also previously lived together.”

In the casino incident, the girlfriend was charged and convicted of hitting Kolkema during a drunken birthday celebration in which she kept telling police “she was with bad company.”

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In the door-knob incident, police submitted charges for both Kolkema and his girlfriend, though the Ottawa County prosecutor opted not to charge the couple, concluding “this is a strange set of facts.”

Meanwhile, the grandfather, who is the primary guardian of his grandson, is reeling and doesn’t want Kolkema anywhere near the boy. He says that Kolkema and his girlfriend are constantly fighting and yelling, that his grandson is harmed by their behavior, and that Kolkema and his girlfriend have repeatedly violated a court order that prohibits the boy from being on unsupervised visits with his mother.

The Free Press is not naming the grandfather to avoid identifying the grandchild.

“I’m just trying to give my grandson a normal life. I just want peace and normalcy for (him),” said the grandfather, adding he was also alarmed by the belt-whipping video.

“I watched that video a few times,” the grandfather said. “It made me fear for my grandson’s safety.”

‘Is this really happening in front of my eyes?’

It was just before noon on Aug. 18 when women working in a downtown Muskegon office building looked out their window and saw a couple arguing in The Leonard apartment building on West Western Avenue. It was the same apartment that weeks earlier had a huge Jason Kolkema campaign banner in the window.

“You could see him ranting and raving most of the morning,” said one of the witnesses, a domestic abuse survivor and mother of three who has requested anonymity to protect her family’s privacy. “I told my coworkers, ‘I’m really getting worried. I’m going to start recording this.’ “

The arguing went on for about 40 minutes. The office workers watched as Kolkema paced the living room, waved his hands in the air, and went room to room — at one point changing out of his blue campaign T-shirt into a white dress shirt.

But eventually things got physical, the woman said, alleging she saw Kolkema grab the woman, who swung back. Then he walked away.

“He put his hands on her and we were like, ‘Wow. Did that really just happen?’ ” recalled the witness, who decided to call the police. As she was on the phone, Kolkema pulled out the belt.

“It was insane. I thought, ‘how do I help this person way over there? Is this really happening in front of my eyes?” the woman said, noting the lashings continue to haunt her.

‘You could see the belt connecting’

“It was sick, makes you just sick to your stomach, and that’s all you can think about for days and days and days,” said the woman, adding she is outraged by Kolkema’s claim that he hit the chair.

“The video is not as accurate as my eyes,” she said. “You could clearly see that belt connecting with her.”

This frame capture from a video shows Jason Kolkema allegedly whipping his girlfriend with a belt during an argument in his downtown Muskegon apartment,

Police officers responded to the apartment, where they encountered a “visibly upset” woman who “had a blank stare when they were talking with her. When (she) was asked who she had an altercation with, she stated ‘Jason Kolkema’ but refused to comment on the altercation or what occurred between them,” a police affidavit says, adding officers were unable to see any injuries on the woman as she was wearing a long dress.

Like other witnesses that day, including some who recorded the incident from the street, the office worker decided to post the violent portion of the video on Facebook. To date, it has generated more than 20,500 views. She has turned over the entire 40-minute recording to police.

“I’m raising my children here … and he’s not somebody that I want overseeing any decisions that any children or women have to encounter,” the woman said. “For him to be in a position as a judge? That’s just not acceptable. There’s no way.”

‘Politics plays no role in this’

Within 24 hours of the videotaped incident, charges were filed.

“My office takes the crime of domestic violence very seriously. It really doesn’t matter who you are, what your background is, what — if any — influence you have or may not have,” Muskegon County Prosecutor D.J. Hilson said in a Free Press interview. “When it comes to this particular time, it is a very serious issue and we will file charges when appropriate.”

Kolkema was charged with misdemeanor domestic assault, punishable by up to 93 days in jail. He turned himself in and posted a $500 cash bond, and on Thursday asked the judge to lift a no-contact order so that his girlfriend can rejoin his campaign, live with him again and help him fight what his lawyer described as “false and misleading information.”

“Although the couple have garden-variety arguments, it is not a relationship that can be characterized as abusive,” Kolkema’s lawyer wrote in a Thursday filing, “and there is no evidence of past incidents of abuse.”

Hilson said his office does not consent to the lifting of the no-contact order. An assistant prosecutor was blunt about Kolkema’s request that his girlfriend be allowed to campaign.

“It’s ridiculous,” Assistant Prosecutor Katie Norton said during a September hearing when the request first surfaced. She told the judge that Kolkema has violated multiple court orders and can’t be trusted. “I have concerns about the safety of the public, and Mr. Kolkema’s ability to follow court orders.”

During the hearing, Kolkema’s attorney claimed the case was becoming political.

Hilson disagrees.

“Politics plays no role in this whatsoever,” Hilson said.

As for claims that the belt hit the chair, not the girlfriend — Hilson said the law sees no difference.

“Domestic violence includes violence that can either be physical, or threatened. Contact is not required,” Hilson said, adding: “We’re prepared to try this case if that’s what Mr. Kolkema wishes.”

Kolkema’s trial date has been scheduled for Nov. 21 — well past the Nov. 8 election. Kolkema is running for Muskegon County’s 14th Circuit Court judicial seat. He won the August primary with 36% of the vote out of a pool of four candidates. His challenger is attorney Jenny McNeill, a lawyer of more than 25 years and current family court referee. She won 25% of the vote in the primary.

‘I feel nauseous’

Lori Rasmussen can’t shake the image of the graphic video. The seven lashings. A person in a chair who appears to be recoiling. Legs kicking as a belt strikes.

“Every time I watch it, I feel nauseous,” said Rasmussen, a longtime advocate for domestic abuse survivors in Muskegon who has been protesting Kolkema’s candidacy since the video surfaced. “It’s so unreal to see a human take off their belt and hit someone else. It was just horrible.”

Rasmussen doesn’t buy Kolkema’s claim that he was striking the chair, not his girlfriend, but said it doesn’t matter where the belt landed. What she saw on the video was abuse, one person trying to control another through fear and violence, she said.

“I know domestic violence. Victims know domestic violence,” said Rasmussen, the former executive director of Every Woman’s Place in Muskegon, a shelter for abuse victims. “Even though he is saying he didn’t strike her, you are using a weapon in the general direction of somebody. It’s still with the intent to have power and control over that person.”

Rasmussen, meanwhile, has held two protests in front of the Muskegon County courthouse challenging Kolkema’s candidacy. She fears he could win the November election due to his name recognition. He won the primary, and his signs are all over town, including an electronic billboard.

“He’s just not the judge that we want,” Rasmussen said. “He’s not the moral or ethical standard we want for a judge. We’re scared for Muskegon families.”

‘Do the right thing. Go out.’

Fry, a 50-year-old domestic abuse survivor herself, is equally concerned about Kolkema becoming a judge in her town, arguing her three sons deserve a better role model in the judiciary.

And so do battered women, stressed Fry, who spent 10 years working as a victim’s advocate before taking a job as a case manager at a homeless shelter.

“I’m a survivor myself,” said Fry, who is pleading with Kolkema to step down. “There is so much wrong with this situation. The fact that he hasn’t withdrawn — that is scary enough. … Do the right thing. Go out.”

‘You got my vote’

Against the backdrop of his pending criminal case,  Kolkema is getting support from folks who believe he deserves the presumption of innocence — a constitutional right that applies to all defendants in the criminal justice system.

Activists approached some Muskegon businesses to take down Kolkema’s campaign signs, though the owners said Kolkema has not been convicted, and deserves to be presumed innocent.

 Kolkema has talked about that presumption on Facebook, due process rights, and the importance of not prejudging a case without all the facts — comments that many of his supporters agree with.

A billboard for Jason Kolkema sits along Whitehall Road Thursday, Oct. 6, 2022, in North Muskegon.

“Innocent until proven guilty and we only know one side of the story,” wrote one commenter.

“You got my vote,” wrote another, later adding:  “I know this man and he is a good man. Should one mistake ruin your life? I don’t think so, and last time I checked it takes two to tangle.” 

Kolkema doesn’t appear to be going anywhere, if his Facebook posts are any indication.

One day after his arraignment, Kolkema pressed his campaign in a Facebook post: “My experience as an attorney is unmatched and I remain the best candidate to preside over the types of cases within the jurisdiction of the Circuit Court in Muskegon County.”

Tresa Baldas is an award-winning courts and legal issues reporter and was named the 2020 Richard Milliman “Michigan” Journalist of the Year by the Michigan Press Association. Contact her at [email protected].

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