If you keep thinking about the pain of divorce, it can be unbearable. What you think you can do. What you focus on grows. Your thoughts are like seeds planted in fertile ground. Their attention is the water and sunshine that they need to grow. Your thoughts preceded everything you have ever created in your life.
For the reasons mentioned above, it is especially important to watch your thoughts when you are getting a divorce. Your pain and loss are easy to tarnish. If your thoughts could magically manifest into reality within an hour, would you still choose to think the same way? Fortunately, your thoughts don’t manifest immediately. But they pave the way for your future.
It is normal to feel hostile towards your ex, fear about your financial future, and worry about your children. These thoughts can cause real pain. You can experience headaches, abdominal pain, indigestion, and insomnia. Your thoughts have power over your body because they activate your hormones. Your body is in a fight, flight, or freeze response. You may feel like you are spinning in a storm of pain.
If you are experiencing divorce pain, seek help from a doctor, professional therapist, or divorce coach to control your emotions and monitor your health. Also, implement the following things to help you overcome your pain.
How to Overcome the Pain of Divorce
1. Visualize
One way to break the spiral of fear, worry, and guilt is to imagine yourself letting go of it. You may be afraid of starting your new life as a single parent. You can worry about how your kids will adapt. Sit in this fear for a moment. Pay attention to where you feel the fear in your body. Now that you embody fear, describe it. Use your active imagination. Which color is it? What shape is it? What is it made of? Here is an example of an image that might show up. Your pain could be described as a ragged, shiny black obsidian stone that you feel in your heart. It feels oppressive and sharp.
Once you’ve visualized your pain as an object, it’s time to let go of it. When your thoughts of worry, fear, and guilt have taken shape, you can let go of them. Take the stone with your mind’s eye and throw it into the atmosphere. Choose a picture that suits you and indicate the shape, smell, size, texture and color of your pain. Then choose any method to discard it.
You will feel free and much lighter in your mind and body. Use this method repeatedly as your pain creeps in.
2. Be careful
Your thoughts ultimately manifest themselves in the relationships and things that you have in your life. You need to watch your thoughts to get the results you want. How do you become aware of this?
To get rid of the pain of divorce, you need to watch your thoughts. This requires some new habits. I like to think of my mind as an attic. When you go up the stairs to look at the attic you will have to pull the chain to turn on the light. Use this process as a blueprint to shed light on your thoughts. As the day progresses, become aware of your mind. Imagine pulling the string and shedding light on your thoughts. Are your thoughts causing pain? Are you worried Do you feel helpless Are you overwhelmed
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you know it is time to follow step one. Describe your thoughts and give them qualities and characteristics. Now throw them out! With a free and clear mind, it is time to think about what you really want to make a difference in your life.
3. Write it down and find pictures
In step three, you visualized and resolved your pain. Now is the time to make it clear what you want. Your divorce created the need to discover new homes, new support systems for your children, and maybe even new health and wellness routines for yourself. To achieve the positive things that you want. It is necessary to clearly identify them.
With your phone, tablet, or notebook, write down the following categories. Write next to each new thought pattern.
- My health
- My finances
- My options
- My personal growth
- My relationship with my children
- My private life
- My education
- My social life
- My spiritual growth
This list will create the story of your new life. Draw attention to the options available to you in each of these categories. You create new thought patterns.
Next, use a photography website like www.pixabay.com to search for and find pictures that show how you will feel when you have perfect health, finances, a happy family and a friend have social life. Print out these photos and add them to your list.
Your list and photos will become a touchstone. You can refer to them during times of pain for strength and hope.
Divorce triggers a state of grief and emotional turmoil. It’s easy to stay in this place when dealing with the stories of struggle that you face. Break the habit of ruminating.
Use these three steps to help you overcome the pain of divorce and create a future that you will enjoy.
Comments are closed.