Photo byShelley Wenger at Canva
Figuring out child custody can be the hardest part of a divorce settlement. Neither parent wants to give up time with their children! They can’t imagine not spending every moment that they can with their children, so they end up fighting and fighting, until there isn’t much left to hash out!
However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are some tips to help you decide child custody.
Put your children and their needs first. You need to really think about your children and what they need. Their age can really be a factor. Young babies are going to need their mothers more than their fathers, especially when they are being breastfed.
Teenage boys may need the attention of their fathers more than their mothers. If your children are having trouble in school, they need to be spending time with the parent who can help them.
So think about who has the time. You can’t figure out child custody without knowing who has the time for them. If one parent works eighty-hour weeks, they aren’t going to have any time during the week for their children. However, they will have time on the weekends and the days that they have off.
If one parent stayed home to care for the children, the other parent may want to continue to support him or her so that life won’t change for your children.
Find a way to work together and be flexible with each other. Once you come up with a child custody and visitation plan, it doesn’t have to be set in stone. If you are both willing to be adults and work together, you can use it simply as a guide.
If the eighty-hour workweek parent has a day off, you should allow him or her time with the children. If there is a family party, you should be able to take the children, even if it isn’t your day to have them. If one parent wants to take them on vacation, you should allow it. By being flexible, you are giving your children the best of both worlds, a world that includes both of their parents and everyone else who loves them.
Though it can be hard to figure out child custody, it really helps if you consider them first, along with their needs. You also need to be realistic with your own abilities. You may not be everything that your children need at this time. They may need you more later. Because of this, you should be flexible so that your children can have time with both of their parents, as their needs change.
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