Whether you’re separated, in the process of divorce, or the ink on your divorce contract has been dry for a while … The time between Christmas / Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve can be an extremely difficult time of the year !!
The holidays are physically and emotionally demanding. We face so many stressful commitments … all masked by the magical glow of Joyful Celebration!
Celebrations where we most likely ate and drank too much and ended up getting very little rest !!
All of this takes an enormous toll on us.
Chances are we’ve also gotten into the whirlwind of shopping for special gifts, wrapping, cooking, baking, decorating, entertaining, and even traveling. This inevitably left our wallets as drained as our energy levels. And the numbers on the bathroom scales rise just like our stress level.
Let’s face it, breakup and divorce (all on their own) can have the same unpleasant consequences as the above. Therefore, this time of year can quickly become anything but wonderful!
If you’re not a fan of self-torture, now is the time to be extra kind to yourself. And turning to more alcohol or more food for more comfort and pleasure will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Remember, the most important thing is to carefully choose your methods of self-care after your vacation.
5 tips to get you through New Years Eve
1. Take some time for yourself.
After all of the solemn chaos, it’s time to slow things down. Go for a walk in nature and turn your face to the sun. Take a deep breath. Soak in a hot Epsom salt bath with some essential oils.
Sit down and just breathe.
DO NOT TRY TO “DO” – “LOOK” – “READ” or “LISTEN” – ANYTHING!
Create an environment that is free from noise or other distractions (including people). Just for a while every day. Detox. This may sound silly, but if you can take some time each day to freshen up and replenish yourself for a short period of time, you will be amazed by the many benefits that you will gradually notice.
It is so important to regain our balance after being so exhausted. When we are fragile, negativity can creep in – but once we strengthen our inner strength, we regain our resilience. Remember to take some time for yourself every day in the New Year!
2. If you are sad, cry; if you are angry, hit a pillow.
Everyone seems a little more emotional this time of year. And you have more than enough reasons to feel some pretty intense ups and downs. So give yourself permission to feel your feelings. But be smart too!
Now that we find we may be feeling particularly sensitive during this time, try to do what makes you happy and avoid what makes you sad.
If watching these juicy Hallmark love stories makes you feel melancholy, don’t watch them.
When you scroll through Facebook and see that everyone’s seemingly perfect life is depressing you, take a break from FB. If you feel happy helping others in need, take this time to volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
3. Have a plan.
New Year’s Eve is a difficult night for many people. Even people in happy marriages and relationships. So take the time to think about creative ways to “celebrate” NYE in the most comfortable way possible. Whether you are celebrating with your children or them with their other parents, you have options.
And remember, there will always be a NYE next year. I’ve had my share of terrible NYEs and wonderful NYEs. If the best option you can find is to go to bed early and sleep through the ball, so be it. There’s always next year.
4. This too will pass.
Even if breakup and divorce suck, it gets better. I promise. February follows January and winter becomes spring. There is a season for everything.
Life is full of challenges and victories. It’s a circle of darkness into light. So, even if these may be particularly dark and difficult times, stay tuned … because the sun will surely shine again, maybe brighter than ever.
5. You are not alone.
Hopefully, in these troubled times, it brings you some comfort to know that many of us are there for you. Some of us are right next to you in the deep, dark trenches of separation and divorce, others have finally made our way outside. And we reach out our hand to pull you up and down too.
Yes, the time between Christmas / Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve can be an extremely difficult time of the year … but it can also be a time for us to cultivate our inner strength, grow, and develop some positive coping skills. It also gives us the opportunity to focus on any promising new year opportunities.
Happy 2021 !!