In a divorce, the mother wins custody of the child most of the time, but not always. Several factors play a role in custody decisions. They take into account which spouse is the primary caregiver and the relationship a child has developed with both parents. The child’s best interests are always at the center of the problem.
The child’s best interest
If the courts once firmly believed that a mother should always keep a child after divorce, it is no longer the case. Several states have mandated by law not to express parental gender custody preferences. Still, the mother is more likely to win in court. Why this?
There may be many differences between states when it comes to custody issues, but one thing remains the same: the best interests of the child. The structure and distribution of roles in marriage favors the mother. This is one of the main reasons the mother is more likely to get custody.
The bond between parent and child
Another key factor in the court’s decision is the child’s bond with each parent. Some states believe that there is an equally meaningful relationship with both parents. So the focus is on the future. The courts want to find out which parent would have a better influence over the child in the long term.
If one of the parents tried to get the child to feel bad about the other parent, chances are they will not get custody. Psychology experts coined the term parental alienation Consider one parent’s strategies for turning one child against the other. Children who fall victim to this tactic consider the target parent unworthy of their love.
In addition, the child’s age can be an important factor in bonding with parents. In the first few years of life, the bond between mother and child tends to be stronger. After all, the mother is usually the main source of nourishment and affection.
This is favored by typical parenting roles and social norms. Usually fathers return to work faster than mothers after having a child. In this way the baby automatically spends more time with the mother. Fathers may need to work harder to get in touch with a child in their early years and build a solid foundation for years to come.
Identify the primary caregiver
Determining which parent is the primary carer plays a role in custody decisions. The definition and responsibilities of this role vary between states. In general, this refers to the person who cares most about the child or who is best able to meet the child’s needs. This refers to the ability to cope with everyday activities such as feeding, bathing and playing, but also to deal with possible crises.
Tips for custody
If there is a custody battle between the parents, both parties should prepare. Probably one of the best Custody battle tips for mothers is to show courage. You should take a firm stance when it comes to your child’s best interests and not withdraw. While they are more likely to receive custody, this should not be taken for granted.
To increase the likelihood of custody, fathers should demonstrate that they can take better care of the child. It is important to focus on the strength of their relationship and, if possible, prove that they were the primary caregiver.
Spouses must familiarize themselves with their state’s laws regarding custody issues. This can help them outline a clear presentation and focus on key issues. Make a point and don’t get lost on the subject. Also, do not try to turn the child against the other spouse. Parental alienation is considered emotional abuse.
Final thoughts
Children of divorce are often embroiled in custody disputes, making the transition to their new family life difficult. While mothers get custody of the child in most cases, the father can get a real shot at it too. The decision largely depends on the precedent and determining which parent can better care for the child.
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